英语搞笑段子

英语搞笑段子

段子吧：最近，环游世界三年，英国段子手 Charlie Croker完成了一本新书叫……本文是英语搞笑段子精选，内容如下：1. 在中国的一个机场，官方特别要求“Please confirm your car is licked(locked?)”，难道你洗车是用舔的?An airport in China made this special request of drivers: “Please confirm your car is licked。” Surely a car wash would suffice?最近，环游世界三年，英国段子手 Charlie Croker完成了一本新书叫《完全错误的翻译：当我迷失在国外》，给大家分享了一些在他看起来最酷的翻译错误。

英语搞笑段子

英国段子手爆笑吐槽：世界各地坑爹英文(图)

最近，环游世界三年，英国段子手 Charlie Croker完成了一本新书叫《完全错误的翻译：当我迷失在国外》，给大家分享了一些在他看起来最酷的翻译错误。

旅行篇

Travel troubles

旅行本身就是非常考验人的经验，这些误导人的标识反而会使旅行更加艰难。Travelling can be a testing experience – and these very misleading signs don’t make it any easier.。.

1. 在中国的一个机场，官方特别要求“Please confirm your car is licked(locked?)”，难道你洗车是用舔的?

An airport in China made this special request of drivers: “Please confirm your car is licked。” Surely a car wash would suffice?

2. 在印度有个繁华的路旁竖着这样一个牌子，上面写着醒目的警告语：走路小心，情色(强奸?)事件重灾区。可是你们确定这样明目张胆难道不会有很多不明真相的围观群众?

Meanwhile there was this eye-catching warning on a busy stretch of road in India: “Go slow – accident porn area。” Bet there were a few rubberneckers for that one.

路牌　　3. 在希腊的某条路上行走的时候你会多次遇到这样的站牌，上面写着警告语：在海岸公路停车是会被咬死。天啊噜。

And you might get more than you bargain for on this Greek road, where a sign warns: “Parking is for bitten along the coastal road。” Ouch。

4. 自驾游总是会被各种标识误导，天知道你会被引导到哪去。可是坐火车也好不到哪去，中国的火车厕所里总有这样一句话：当火车在马厩里的时候，请不要用厕所。那么马睡在哪里。

Though driving has its pitfalls, things don’t get much better on the trains. A notice on a toilet in China reads: “Do not use toilet while train is in stable。” Where do the horses sleep, then?

5. 在利比亚的Monrovia，不要觉得自己是成年人就可以乱吸烟，因为那里总会有这样的提示语：请变成小盆友，再使用烟灰缸。

Don’t think about smoking if you are a fully fledged adult travelling in Monrovia, Liberia. There, a notice reads: “Dear passengers, please be tiny when using ashtrays。”

6. 在中国机场，你可能在托运行李的时候会遇到一点痛苦，咱们把行李托运处叫做“Luggage disembowel”算了我们为了保护我们的内部器官，还是手提行李吧。

And at a Chinese airport you may be in for somthing painful at the baggage drop. They call it: “Luggage disembowel。” It may well be better to keep your internal organs and take hand luggage – just to be on the safe side。

购物篇

Shopping slip-ups.。.

假期想要血拼?买东西一定要小心。

Fancy a spot of shopping on your hols? Be careful what you buy.。.

1. 虽然英国人在国外的声誉不是特别好，但是印度人也用不着在标语上写着：肛门(Anus)英语学院，绝对没问题。

Brits abroad don’t have the best reputation but there’s no need for this sign in Pratap Pura, India: “Anus English Academy – no problem。”

2. 在中国，为了吸引广大妇女，一家女装店这样打广告：免费送咪咪(Take free titty)。

A “Take free titty” notice in a women’s clothes shop in China says is bound to attract the wrong clientele。

3. 图中这个人拿着镶着喵星人照片的相框，下面的标识却是：My dog。

And someone was clearly having a bad day at work when they framed this picture of a cat with the caption, “My dog”。

喵星人照片的相框　　4. 德国慕尼黑一家卖巴伐利亚啤酒的商店打广告：我们只卖啤酒渣。你确定你们能赚钱?

A shop selling Bavarian beer mugs in Munich, Germany, boasts “We sell beer stains”. We doubt they make much of a profit。

5. 迪拜的一个裁缝创立的品牌叫做“The In Trend”，谁能想到缩写却是“TiT”(小奶头?)

A tailor in Dubai called The In Trend didn’t think it through – the labels on his garments read “TiT”。

6. Aix-en-Provence的一家法国运动装备商店需要重新考虑一下自己的商店名：运动员的脚

One French sports shoe shop in Aix-en-Provence might need to rethink its name – Athlete’s Foot。

7. 我们和美国人一样是说英语的，但是这也阻止不了他们一家服装店这样打广告：Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks(好吧你们米国男人都十几个脖子)

We may talk the same language but that hasn’t stopped one US clothes store coming up with this gem: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks。”

8. 肯塔基州有家洗衣店打广告：Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machines do the dirty work(不要让洗衣服这件事谋杀你老婆，脏活我们来干)真是什么服务都有。

And this Kentucky store has another pearler: “Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machines do the dirty work。”

9. 一家中国书店必须为中土世界实现这个承诺“Sports and hobbits”(体育与霍比特人)

A Chinese bookshop must be trying to cash in on Middle Earth in a section for “Sports and hobbits”。

10. 泰国一家珠宝店写着“色情宝石”，你们城里人真会玩。

A Thai hotel jeweller has “Porn gems”. For the filthy rich perhaps?

食物篇

Recipes for disaster.。.

美食是假期最好的组成部分，但是万一你的食谱中出现这些神翻译。

Eating out is one of the best parts of a holiday, unless your menu includes one of these unusual treats.。.

1. 美国的一种蓝莓果酱瓶上写着：奶奶的味道。

A jar of black raspberry jam in America: “Tastes Like Grandma。” We all love our grandmas but no one wants to eat her。

蓝莓果酱瓶　　2. 中国一家餐馆的菜单上有这道菜：grilled sexual harassment烧烤的性骚扰。(咸猪手?猪蹄?)

Meanwhile, another China restaurant has “grilled sexual harassment” on its menu。

3. 马德里的一家餐馆的菜单里同样也有这样的一道菜：律师身上的泡沫

Which would go nicely with the “Lawyer Foam” that appeared on a menu in Madrid。

旅馆篇

Hotel howlers.。.

当你入住后一切并不会安定下来。

And things don’t get much better after you check in.。.

1. 法国一家旅馆的卫生间里有这样一个警告标语：Do not throw kidney in the toilet(不要把你的肾扔到卫生间里)。那能扔我的肝么。

A sign in a hotel bathroom in France warns guests: “Do not throw kidney in the toilet。” Does that mean a liver is allowed?

2. 哈萨克斯坦的一家旅馆似乎不能好好玩耍了，他们的旅馆里有这样的标语：There is a bowel (bowl?)of fruit in each room(每个房间里都有水果的肠子)。

While this sign in Kazakhstan certainly isn’t going to encourage us to get our five a day: “There is a bowel of fruit in each room。” Yum。

英国段子手爆笑吐槽：世界各地的坑爹英文集锦

3. 泰国旅馆的一个旅游手册给游客一些中肯的建议：如果你想租车自驾请小心，泰国的每一个司机都想死。

A guest information booklet in a Thailand hotel bedroom gives some very honest advice: “If you are thinking of hiring a car please drive carefully as all Thai drivers have a death wish。”

英语搞笑段子

英语搞笑段子相关推荐

When they’re together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. “All right, you two,” I said sternly. “No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting.”

As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, “C’mon, Steven, let’s get dirty . ”

我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。一个星期六，我开始抗议了。“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许扯淡，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。” 我刚转身要走，就听我儿子说：“来，斯蒂文，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”

What a big deal A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. “Can I help you?” The man said, “Sure. I’ve come to install the phone.”

我是来装电话的一个年轻人刚刚开始做生意，就租了一个漂亮的办公室。一天，他坐在办公室里，看到有一个人在外面，于是他就装作生意很忙的样子，拿起电话胡吹乱侃，还不停的甩出几个大数字，好像在谈一笔大买卖。到了最后，他终于挂了电话，问来访的人，“有事儿嘛?”那个人回答，“我是来给你安装电话的。”

Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, “Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream.”

“Why did it make you late?” inquired the teacher.

“Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time.” replied Mike.

麦克上学迟到了。他对布莱克老师说：“对不起，老师，今天早上我迟到了。因为我在梦里观看了一场球赛。”

“为什么它会让你迟到呢?”老师问道。

“因为这两个队都没有能力获胜，所以就持续的时间长了。”麦克回答说。

Big Head

“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”

“Don’t listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”

“Where’s the shopping bag?”

“I haven’t got one,use your hat.”

大脑袋

“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”

“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”

“购物袋在哪?”

“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. “What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”

“I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered.

“You’re a good boy,” said the mother proudly. “Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?”

“She is the one who sells the candy.”

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

“Look,” said the elder brother. “How nice these paintings are!”

“Yes,” said the younger, “but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?”

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, “Obviously he was painting the pictures.”

父亲在哪儿?

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”

“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”

哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

The Mean Man’s Party

The notorious(声名狼藉的，臭名昭著的) cheap skate(小气鬼) finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, “Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow(肘部，扶手) . When the door open, push with your foot.”

“Why use my elbow and foot?”

“Well, gosh,” was the reply, “You’re not coming empty-handed, are you?”

吝啬鬼的聚会

一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”

“天哪!”吝啬鬼说，“难道你还能空着手来吗?”

能吗?